Jokes
Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
How Are A Texas Tornado And A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.
How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice Too Long?
Polaroid's
What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't Work?
A Stick.
What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.
What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A: K9P.
Q: What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
A: They're hiring.
Q: What's a cat's favorite breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.
Q: How does a lion like his steak?
A: Medium roar.
Q: What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
A: French flies.
Q: What do cats like on their hot dogs?
A: Mouse-tard.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a luxury car?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: A tick falls off you when you die.
Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance?
A: Put a boogie in it!
Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep!
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because sheep don't have string!
Q: Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?
A: He's all-right now!